"not for bad luck....

I'd have no luck at all! "

I'm not sure who exactly who coined this phrase, but today: it's fitting.

So, I am going to talk trash about someone right now. I don't usually do this, but after reading, you might think I am vindicated.

Our new apartment comes with a whack-job of a landlord, complete with her own 18 points addendum to the lease. We ignored strong indications of the whack-jobness of this woman and signed anyway. Well, flash forward a week. We have a SIGNED lease and she hasn't cashed our checks yet. That's okay, we have a LEASE. And banks have been known to take their time with checks. Running home today, getting ready to head to a birthday party for a very special 2 year old, we get a phone call. It's the new landlady informing us she'll be at OUR current apartment in 10 minutes.

What????

I AM PACKING. Crap is EVERYWHERE. WHY is she coming over??

She claims to have shredded an important document and needed us to re-sign it. Um. Fishy?

Upon walking into our 1/2 packed apartment, she declares we are unsuitable for renting her precious apartment.

Did I mention the part where we changed our addresses with the post office, scheduled utilities to be turned off and on, etc?? Oh, and hired movers.

Let me take a moment to thank PC for being the man he is, not throwing her ass over teakettle down our stairs or punching her in the mouth. She basically told us we aren't clean enough.

What. the. fuck.

PC does have the presence of mind to demand our checks back, and once in hand (she keeps gabbing like we're all old friends now) tells her to "leave our house now."

So, if you are renting an apartment in WATERTOWN MASSACHUSETTS, near the high school--- email me. If' the address matches what we have been through, I will tell you the God's honest truth about what happened to us here.

And, because I know you guys will love these addendums to the standard lease, here are a few of them summarized:

• All mini blinds must be kept exactly 1/2 up or all the way down.
• Windows must be open more than 3 inches if no one is home.
• Landlord retains the right to enter the apartment if she thinks there will be rain and your windows aren't lowered.
• Cat must be brushed regularly.
• There is an approved list of cleaners for the bathroom tiles.
  

Like I said, if not for bad luck in 2009, we'd have none at all. No job, PC's illness, and psychotic landlords.

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