Cathartic...

Linda Carter: I bet she never had to pick up socks or figure out for the umpteenth time what was for dinner.  

I had a really interesting visit with my nutritionist, Paula, this morning. I've been feeling in a slump, very discouraged by weight, lack of energy, etc. It started me thinking about how I always feel guilty about taking "me" time. Like I'm not worth the effort to get in shape, eat better. I'm worth it.  And how I'm starting to resent PC when he takes a whole day to watch football and I spend the whole day meal planning. Sure, I do my share of knitting, and sitting... and he has been known to cook a meal and run the vacuum, but why on earth do I feel like I need to do it all?

(*note to PC: this is NOT about you, it's about me and perception and stress and pressure. NOT you.)

Anyway. So, I'm hear to say "I'm not Wonder Woman." I cannot do it all. I can't .

• I can't work 50+ hours per week.
• I can't be the perfect girlfriend. 
• I can't be the perfect housekeeper. 
• I can't be the personal chef. 
• I can't keep it all together with the bills. 
• I can't knit 25 baby sweaters b/c I feel stupid giving a gift card. 
• I can't keep up with the laundry. 
• I can't find time to head to the gym.
• I can't find the strength to trust that this lifestyle change will work. 

With help and support, what can I do?

• I can make an hour each day for me to go to the gym/walk/pilates/spinning class.
• I can make an hour each day to knit. 
• I can ask for help with meals and housekeeping.
• I can stop making excuses for not asking for help.
• I can find room in the budget for some "help" with the house.
• I can have 2012 be the year I only knit what I want-- no 'orders'
• I can have the courage to say "this is me, and only me... I cannot be anyone else."
• I can insist on sharing responsibilities, both at home and at work.
• I can make my dietary changes stick.
• I can make healthy meals for myself and PC. 
• I can take charge of my life and LIVE!

What can't /can you do?

Brr... 10 on Tuesday

I have a HUGE long, photo-heavy, post about my weekend (it was Ah-Mazing) for you, but it needs to wait until tomorrow. Yes, woe is you. I'm even working on a tutorial of sorts for you all. With photos. Hello-another woe. 

Until then, I have 10 things to do when it's too cold to go outside.

1. Knit. Surprise! Knitting is my favorite thing to do when you can't leave the house!
2. Movie-a-thon. So far in our (omg- 6?) 6 years of happily unwedded cohabitation, PC and I have had a Lord of the Rings weekend, a Star Wars weekend, a Pillars of the Earth (Showtime, all 12 episodes, in one weekend) weekend, a Harry Potter weekend (to catch PC up before the 1st last movie) and we'll be having an Indiana Jones one soon... and a season 1 of Game of Thrones. 
3. cook. Yup--- those are the days for roasting veggies, cooking giant hunks of meat, simmering a soup... 
4. clean. If you are trapped in the house, you will see how gross it is... cleaning helps.
5. nap. PC naps, I don't. On occasion, I have napped on a snow day... it's the only time I feel like it's a good thing to do.
6. "not nap." (wink, wink... nudge, nudge). You know, the OTHER thing you can do in the room with the bed that is NOT napping. We have no kids and I think this might be harder to do with other people trapped in the house with you. 
7. read a book. I have a nook color, so as long as i have wifi--- i'm in endless books (and endless debt. Hello bn.com-linked credit card!) and PC, well...he has a book habit like i have a yarn habit.  Just sayin'. 
8. Scrabble. Or cards. Or any game. We like Scrabble and cards. Rummy 500 to be exact. 
9. Call friends. My friend, Dora, is great to chat with on the phone... and well, by the time I'm up to HERE with PC (day 2 of a snowed-in weekend), she's at the same point with her hubby. We commiserate. :) 
10. Think ahead for some blog ideas... this was #1 on my list this Sunday!

Animal crackers in my soup....

Photo credit: www.eatthinkandbemerry.wordpress.com

 Carole challenged us to come up with our 10 favorite soups. This is a significant challenge for me because, well, I love soup. Not just like soup, I love soup. Soup is my favorite food. It's good, cold in the summer, hot in the winter. Soup fills you up. Soup warms you up. Soup makes you feel loved. Soup is, for me, the perfect dinner. Or lunch. And I've been known to eat it for breakfast.

It's cheap, it can be healthy and if you have guests show up, well, you just another another cup of water to the pot. 

Ten on Tuesday's Top 10 Soups:

1. French Onion Soup. Soup Onion gratin. Very specifically, I love all french onion soup, but the 99 Restaurant does french onion soup the best. And, this place called "le central" in San Francisco, between Union Square and the financial district. Delish. 
2. Roasted tomato gratin soup at Sel de la terre. Oh, how i dream of this soup... I would eat vats of this soup. 
3. Minestrone Soup. Not surprised are you? My sister-in-law, Jess, makes the best minestrone soup. It's hearty, it's packed with veggies and it's made with love. 
4. Pasta fagiole (macaroni and bean)--- I like the Progresso one. Yup, canned, loaded with salt, but oh my... delicious.
5. Ring'O'Noodle. The Lipton packaged stuff in the envelope. When I'm down, sick or just having a crappy day, this soup can make me good again. It likes a grilled cheese accompaniment, but it stands alone just fine.
6. Kielbasa, kale and bean. I just made this last week for dinner. PC's not a soup fan (he doesn't think it's 'food' and therefore there has to be something else with the soup), but he loved this. My recipe was a bit salty but i know how to fix it for next time. Parmesano Reggiano rind, cannellini beans, kielbasa, healthy kale,...what's not to love?
7. Soup at Hands--- i love them all. Each is under 100 calories, and i keep 3 in my desk at work at all times. Forgot your lunch? Got it. Need a snack and don't (shouldn't) want cookies? Got it. Running late and didn't eat breakfast? Got it. 
8. Good ole chicken noodle. My mom used to make it with the birds' nests (if you grew up near or as an Italian, you know the birds' nests), so each bowl got it's own nest. All white meat chicken, sweet carrots... yum.
9. Carrot ginger soup. I have a great recipe that I adore, but I need to put it away for a while. It's 2lbs of carrots, 1 small potato, 2 inches of fresh ginger (minced), 6 cups veggie stock. Cook for 45 minutes. 
10. Lentil soup. (in my lunch today!) I make mine with carrots, celery, onion, tomato paste, and red lentils. 

my four quilts

I had several comments asking  "which four quilts?"

1. Bear Paw Quilt (moda bake shop). I love this quilt. I'm hoping to use up some of my "autumn" fabrics for this one. With stark white background.  And lots of meandering quilting.

2. Jelly Roll star quilt. This might be the first one I make. It's for my bed.

3. Zig Zag quilt from purl bee. Simple, yes, but I'd love to do some awesome shadow quilting in the "white space" (though mine might be black. Yup. BLACK.)

4. Irish Chain. *sigh* gorgeous, right?

My ambition is high and not all will be bed sized (we love a good snugglin' quilt in this house!) and not all are for me... :)

10 on Tuesday: 2012

Carole made a comment that she doesn't "do resolutions" but that she does goals... I like that. I'm pretty good at resolutions, but not great at keeping them.   Some big things happened in 2011, some good, some bad... and it had me thinking from October (my 34th birthday), that some things need to change. Some of it you'll see on the blog, some I'll allude to (and if I feel it would help me, share with you all) and some, well... some you have to know me "in real life" to be in the loop.

But, here are 10 things I want to do in 2012:
1. knit more socks.
2. knit myself 2 sweaters
3. lose weight. A significant amount of weight... like three digits worth. Eating better and believing that it can actually work would help out.
4. get moving... swimming, pilates, kicking things at my trainer... by December 31, 2012, I want to be physically active 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week.
5. save money... yup, here comes a yarn diet. (note: no one can have a baby between now and December--- I don't keep baby friendly yarn in stock)
6. reduce the stash by 60%
7. make 4 quilts-- I already know which 4 I want to make too.
8. Be a better friend... when my life gets out of control, i shut down and internalize... and I need my friends more than ever!
9. Shake it... take a zumba class, or use the wii  or kinect dance games.
10. buy a kayak and start paddling!!!

New year, resolute.

Day one of 2012 will be a quiet post, as 2011 ended terribly, so we are quietly welcoming the new year, not unlike not wanting to wake a sleeping giant.

What you see here is a new sweater for PC. Navy blue berrocco vintage, us 7 bamboo needles....an EZ seamless hybrid.