Pfffttt at Dear Prudence

So, this question to Dear Prudence is odd, yes, but Prudie's reply is something else. (on the record, I think it's a bit nuts to knit socks for every member of a pre-school class... finger puppets: yes, small toys: yes... but socks?)

Everyone who has a relative who begs for handknit socks, raise your hand.

Yup. I thought so. I just felt a huge draft of wind as all your hands shot up.  

I'm guessing Prudie is 1) not a good knitter, if one at all and 2) not getting another handknit anything from any knitting friends anytime soon...

Q. Help! Advice on Gift-Giving: I am a knitter who is knitting socks for my son's preschool class. I intend to give these socks as Christmas gifts this year. I am keeping them a secret as I would like them to be surprises. The only one who knows is the teacher as I needed her help getting the kids' feet sizes. My question revolves around the note I am going to include with the socks. Of course it will include washing and drying instructions (cold water and low heat); however, I am stumped about how to ask for the socks back if the kids don't like them, so they can be redistributed. Now, I don't really want the socks back for my own son; I would like the socks to go to someone who'd actually wear them. What would you do in this instance?

A: In this instance, I would stop with the socks and knit a sweater for my own child. While many people enjoy handmade scarves, there's a reason people stopped wearing lumpy, itchy, droopy handmade socks as soon as industrial looms were invented. It's sweet of you to want to make gifts for the entire class, but you're investing way too much time in a gift that won't be appreciated. If you want to do something handmade, maybe you should bake some treats. Or you could offer to come in and do a knitting lesson for the kids. Unless you're making socks they can hang by the fireplace for Christmas, no one wants handmade socks in their Christmas stocking.